Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Story of Numbers: Roman Numerals Script and Song (Final Copy 5.2.14)

Roman Numerals

Scene 1

Emperor and Empress are in a fight with their maid
Octavian: Get me my food, maid.
Maid: I QUIT, Octavian!!! This job is too hard for me!
Lavinia: You can’t quit, your contract lasts for another 23 years! Holds up scroll
MAID: Fine, Lavinia, your grapes will be here soon. Sighs angrily
Tyberous and Licinia: Yay, we love grapes!!!
Octavian: Be quiet, children!!!  Obey your parents and keep it down.
Tyberous: Ok…
Scene 2

Peasant stands at a distance and bows
Lavinia: Approach…
Octavian: Hey, I’m in charge here! Approach, peasant.  Guards,  please approach too, just in case…
Guard 1: Yes sir, Your Majesty.
Guard 2: We are coming… My lord, Octavian. Would you like me to pat him down just in case?
Octavian: Yes… please.
Guard 1:  Searches him for a weapon.  All clear!
Peasant: Now I was wondering if you could approve my number system for the Roman Empire.  I have named them Roman Numerals!
Lavinia: Whoa, whoa hold on what is this number system you speak of?
Peasant: Well, it’s really quite simple, your majesty, shall I show you?
Tyberous: Yeah dad, I want to learn this whatchamacallit numeral!
Octavian: OK, fine!  Show me now!
Peasant: Here are the numerals!
I: Hi! I’m I which equals 1! If you put me in front of a numeral you subtract me from that numeral and put me after a numeral you add me to that numeral.
V: Greetings! I am V, which equals 5! If you put I in front of me, it makes me 4! If you put I after me that makes me 6, but by myself I’m just plain old 5!
X: Hello! I am X, which equals 10! The same rules for V apply to me but, instead of just using I you can also use V for me!
L: Hi, I’m L which equals 50!

C: I’m 100, which is expressed as C!
D: Hi, I’m D which equals 500!
M: Hi, I am 1,000 which is M!
Peasant: See, Sir Octavian, it’s just as simple as can be! You just subtract if it’s in front and add if it’s after!
Maid: knock, knock Your grapes are here, your majesty!
Octavian: No! I hate it! It’s too confusing, simple peasant!  Get out!
Lavinia follows the peasant and the maid walks out.
Octavian: No! I want grapes! I just don’t want numerals!
Lavinia: Oh! Dad I wanted numerals! There’s nothing fun to do in this palace!
Octavian: Oh, really!? Sent in the gladiators!  snap, snap
Gladiators come in and entertain the royalty. 
Stage goes dark. Everybody runs off stage.

Scene 3

Bring out pillows.
Octavian: Snoring in bed..
Dream sound effect happens
Licinia: Hi, dad.  We’re home!
Octavian: Hello! Do you need help with your homework?
Tyberious: Sure we’re working on Roman Numerals!
Octavian: What!? I thought I vetoed that!  I could have sworn that we told that peasant we didn’t want to use roman numerals in my empire…Is this a dream?
Licinia: No, you agreed to it! And it was a fabulous contribution to the Roman Empire!  Our boundaries increased dramatically and you became even more powerful. 
Octavian: Ok, let me see it.
Tyberious gives him the homework
Octavian: I don’t know what any of this means!
Tyberious: Dad, I thought you were smart!
Octavian: I am!
Licinia: OK…. Looks doubtful
Scene 4

Octavian wakes up panting
Octavian:  Lavinia, get in here!
Lavinia: Yes, dear?
Octavian: I just had a dream about roman numerals.  In my dream I was told that if I agree to allow the use of Roman Numerals in our empire, it would be a great success and our empire would grow! 
Lavinia: Wow, that’s quite a dream!  What do you intend to do about it?
Octavian: Well, I’ll tell you what we’ll do about it!  Get me that peasant boy!   
Guard 2: Yes, your majesty.
The peasant enters onto stage.
Peasant: What would you like, your majesty?
Octavian: Bring me the Roman Numerals!
Roman Numerals enter onto stage.
Octavian: I might have been a little off about the numerals. I think I will give you a second chance!
Peasant: Really!? He says happily
Octavian: Yes!
Licinia: In addition, we have decided to grant you the position of King of Math.
Octavian places the crown on his head.
Lavinia and Octavian: Yes!!!
Peasant: Oh! I’m soooo happy! Thank you so much!!!

 Tune:  Happy
It might seem crazy what I’m about to say…
Roman Numerals, are the new thing
Follow me, come on we’re going back in time
With the air like I don’t care, baby by the way

‘cause we’re numerals
Clap along if you feel like an X without an I
‘cause we’re numerals
Clap along if you feel like numerals are the truth
‘cause we’re numerals
Clap along if you feel like an X without an I
‘cause we’re numerals
Clap along if you feel like numerals are the truth

Here comes good news, numerals takin’ over. (X)
Count all your numerals, and leave it just like that. (I)
I should probably tell you it’s numeral time. (V)

 No offense to you. Don’t want to waste your time.

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